Old Bay Goldfish crackers look pretty happy to be here. If you’re choosing this cheap and tawdry debasement of the real deal as a grown-up, you’re just going to feel that way. If you give these to kids for a running-errands snack, your living room carpet, all of your child’s pockets and the back seat of your car are going to be covered in a thin layer of salt and crumbs guaranteed to settle into every crack and crevice, making them eternally and irretrievably dirty. Your validation comes from inside, my friend - opting for these just makes you look desperate.

The other flavors are just saltier, sandier versions of Pizza and Cheddar in my opinion, marketed to children bent on total destruction and adults who feel like the regular ones aren’t edgy enough. The sour cream-based flavors are very tangy and not available un-blasted, so if that’s your jam, you might choose these.

They come in several flavors, including Xtra Cheesy Pizza, Cheddar & Sour Cream, Sour Cream & Onion, and several names for cheddar each more ridiculous than the last. (Campbell's)Ĭampbell’s says these are one of its best-selling lines.

Who makes the grade? Let’s put them to the test! Originalįlavor Blasted Goldfish have a salty powdered coating and come in several tangy and cheesy flavors. 1 snack brand, and nearly half its sales are to households without children. In fact, Campbell’s says teens rank them as their No. Although you might think of them as kiddie fare, they’ve been to outer space at astronaut request, and some of their limited edition flavors are very grown-up indeed. I talked with Campbell’s, the maker of Goldfish, about the upcoming 60th anniversary of the crackers, and the company told me it now makes more than 25 varieties, totaling 187.6 billion individual crackers every year. I’ll get to the taste test in a minute, but this got us thinking: How many flavors of Goldfish crackers are there in this crunchy school of fish? We decided to check out the whole range for a definitive ranking of this tiny icon. This limited-edition flavor sold out online in just nine hours, but it's now available at retailers nationwide.

Pepperidge Farms’ new Goldfish flavor comes in fun packaging that recalls the familiar bright yellow of Old Bay seasoning containers, no boiling required.

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